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This is why we can’t have nice things, breaking news edition: Liz Phair’s new song “Bollywood”.

July 4, 2010

It has been a long, long, long time since I have really enjoyed anything new that Liz Phair has had to offer to the world musically. I’m one of those LP fans who loved Exile In Guyville to pieces but not much else after. She has been, for me, a musical example of the law of diminishing returns and I’ve often felt like someone needed to stop kissing her ass and telling her the crap she was putting out was any good.Especially all of that Matrix-produced bilge that made her sound like Michelle Branch.

But honestly, I would listen to her sounding like Ms. Branch for several hours at a time if it meant I could un-hear the musical abortion that she has posted on her official site as an introduction to her surprise new album, Funstyle, that can be bought from said official site. But don’t take my word for it, go ahead. Go listen to it. No, go ahead, I’ll wait right here, eating these tasty potato chips.

Oh, are you back? Did you listen? Well, clearly you did. I can tell by how pale and shaken you are. Shh, shh, no baby, it’s okay, it’s okay, you’ll be fine. Just drink a glass of water and go lie down. I’ll be here, don’t worry. No, I know, it’s hard to understand why the hell anyone would do that, I get it. Do I think she’s trying to be ironic? Well, probably. At the very least I think she thinks it’s a funny and scathing take on the music industry and Hollywood. But, no, you’re right, I can’t for the life of me figure out why she’s trying to sound like a painfully white, frightfully low budget parody of M.I.A., that doesn’t really scan for me either. I guess it’s just an example of how some people have a whole career’s worth of good music in them and some have one album. Now you just rest and we’ll both try to forget what the bad lady did to our ears.

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11 Comments leave one →
  1. July 4, 2010 5:52 pm

    At the very least I think she thinks it’s a funny and scathing take on the music industry and Hollywood. But, no, you’re right, I can’t for the life of me figure out why she’s trying to sound like a painfully white, frightfully low budget parody of M.I.A., that doesn’t really scan for me either. I guess it’s just an example of how some people have a whole career’s worth of good music in them and some have one album. Now you just rest and we’ll both try to forget what the bad lady did to our ears.

    I have never liked Phair, but I have appreciated what she has meant to others particularly EiG. But this sounds like some serious scattered, smothered and covered hot buttered fail.

    Though I might have too much booze in me to tell for sure. It’s veering dangerously close to Jewel’s Intuition. Except, well I could dance to that.

    • July 4, 2010 5:58 pm

      I totally just read a comment on an article about the new song where someone referenced Jewel in that same way! But, like you said, at least it was danceable.

  2. July 4, 2010 5:57 pm

    Who cares what you (or I) think? Dave Matthews likes her. DAVE MATTHEWS. Liz is just fine without us, apparently.

    • July 4, 2010 5:58 pm

      Oh man, right? When I heard she was on his label I knew she was lost for real and forever. Ah well, there’s always “Fuck & Run”.

  3. John Morton permalink
    July 4, 2010 5:58 pm

    Liz just ruined my holiday.

    • July 4, 2010 6:01 pm

      Oh no! Have a hot dog or a cupcake or a beer or something quick to make it better! Don’t let Liz win!!

  4. jed permalink
    July 4, 2010 6:25 pm

    yeah but MIA is kind of painfully white in her own way

  5. Christopher Becerra permalink
    July 4, 2010 6:28 pm

    I’m going to go stab my ears out with a pencil.

  6. July 5, 2010 6:57 am

    I heard this posted on another blog yesterday — one with a large number of Liz Phair fans. I’m not, so I haven’t really followed her post-Guyville career, but I never thought her attempts at commercialism were as bad as everyone thought. This, however, is just awful. It’s a joke, right?

  7. July 5, 2010 1:47 pm

    Wellllll – maybe that stupid little sample makes me think she’s trying to expose the machine she’s part of. As an “artist” over 43 – i know it was kind of hokey – but I imagined what would it be like to be an artist with one great album that kept you in the public eye – and every time you “try to move forward” there’s heaps and heaps of critisism and reference to the debut. The funny thing is – maybe the later efforts are who she really is, and she fooled everyone with the first album. Maybe she is just as stupid and lightheared and jokey as she appears but she started out making a joke. . . and ended up making a great first album?

    • July 5, 2010 7:05 pm

      I don’t think it was intended to be a joke since she was creating a song-by-song response to the Rolling Stones’ Exile On Main Street. It was very much a thesis-type response record. And while some of what you said may be true about her current effort, it sounds like the work of someone who has seriously lost the plot.

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